Words taken from a previous post – automatic writing, ‘trying to get to the root/the soul of the project. I started reading more around identity and the self at this time, in order to better inform my work, and hopefully help produce some mre imagery/visuals.
I was playing around with sketches for ideas for the website characters. The sketches were made intending to scan into PhostoShop for editing and then Flash for animating. ‘Don’t think I will be using these in the end result, but I actually like the video of the creative process! It’s weird watching as an observer!
Just thinking today and last night about ARt and the whole creative process of making ARt. What makes the art REAL AEt? When does it move from GCSE level ARt to REAL ARt? When do you know you are an artist, a REAL artist? When is it art and when is it (just?) graphic design? When do you charge £40 for a portrait, then £4000 for a piece of work? How do you price it? In hours? In pain?
I was thinking about some of my ‘peers’ – some have such wonderful self-c0nfidence in themselves and the work they produce. Where does this come from? Are they born with this confidence? Does it come naturally? Is it growing, with every compliment and carefully chosen word of praise? Is it growing from their own belief?
I’d like a chunk of that confidence. I think I would rather show my ‘work’ anonymously, hiding behined a curtain (like the Wizard of Oz), listening out to comments, to see what the ‘public’ really think of it. And then there’s the public – who are they? People who frequent art galleries? People who read the Daily Mirror? People at the bus stop?
As an ARtist, I should be researching other artists, see what’s happening out there in the ARtWorld. But I was always impressed with those rare musicians, who, upon the release of a wonderful concept album, would announce that they had locked themselves away in some studio in some dreamy location, and didn’t listen to the radio or watch TV for two years…
No such thing as a virgin text ya know… hmmm – I’m never wholly convinced on that one – I think there is a get out clause waiting to be written or drawn…
So if it’s worth a lot of money, is it really worth a lot? Is that the aim? Not the purpose, maybe, but if successful = good, and good = £££, then to be successful = to earn/charge £££.
So why am I in it?
For the praise? – A little,
For the money? Not really (can’t wholly say no, as it would always be nice to earn money from artwork I made, but it is not why),
For self-pride? – Possibly (pride comes before a fall…)
For enjoyment, to challenge the creative demons – most definately – to free those demons, locked up for 15 years of working, toil and strife….
Elster: On Parallel Selves:
“In addition to our immediate personal experience we often enjoy vicarious experience provided by daydreaming, reading novels or writing them. In fanciful exaggeration we may say that the vicarious experience belongs to a parallel self, one that runs its course alongside the main self. When I am daydreaming, I am daydreaming. Yet the fanciful language can serve the function of pointing to the importance that satisfaction by proxy can take on. sometimes the consumption or creation of possible worlds comes to dominate the life of the mind at the expense of one’s engagement in the actual world. Instead of speaking of parallel selves, we might think of the person as communicating between parallel lives.”
Elster, J. (1985) ‘The Multiple Self’, Cambridge University Press. P17
“Do not ask me who I am and do not expect me to remain the same. Leave it to the bureaucrats to see that our papers are in order.” Michel Foucault
“Cogito, ergo sum” - “I think, therefore I am” Rene Descartes
I need a new achievable short-term schedule. So here it is:
Mon evenings: Flash practice
Fri evenings: Sketching (Pencil / graphics)
Sun am: Site building / project building
Sun evenings: Reading
Extra sessions: Thursday 29th October – Project pannning/storyboard
Long-term:
December 09: Actions: Storyboard + Site started + Sketches complete
Training: Flash / After Effects / ?
January/February 10: Flash movie produced, editing ongoing
March/April 10: Finalising / editing Site
April/May 10: - Completion / final touches
Oh it is sometimes so very easy to fall off track, but (once again) I’m back on with the project… New plans afoot now. Starting with:
I still have concerns with the end output – I want it to be a flash-style website, running as a movie, but without all the little ‘stop’ , ‘play’ ‘pause’ buttons. Not sure how I will end up with this, but I have decided that I will work with that aspect later. Right now, I want to get the creative juices flowing and start practicing using the software.
I have gone back to the ‘bones’ of this project. It was always about the body, the soul, the spirit of living in cyberspace. The connection, disconnections, embodiment and disembodiment. Reading around these issues can only help clarify and inspire the work.
I have taken out a few books form the library - ‘Inventing the Postmodern Person: The future of the self – Exploring Post-Identity Society’ by Walter Truett Anderson, Jeremy P Tarcher (1999), ‘The Multiple Self’ by Jon Elster, Cambridge University Press, (1987) , and am re-reading some old Satre books, and am also looking at my original bibliography. I watched a TV show on Descartes and his ideas around Duality. Although his work is mainly around Mathematics, I would like to read a little more around his thoughts on the mind, body and soul.
I am also revisiting my blog entries from last year. Even though I have gone back to the start (or near enough), this doesn’t mean that these earlier posts are no longer valid: quie the opposite, they are now extremely important to me. I would say that I haven’t exactly gone back to the start, but more that I had taken a wrong turn and gone back to that junction, back to the point at which I veered off… The blog entries up to that point are so important now, as they are my breadcrumbs, my map, my guidance to get me back on track. Even the wrong turn is valid in itself: I am aware of what happened; that by focussing on the technical gimmicky, I felt I was losing the creative edge and also that once I hit a wall with sourcing the software, I stalled, pannicked and basically hid away from it for a while. Not particularly constructive, but by geting to that point, I am now re-inspired, my enthusiasm re-lit.
I intend to start adding some sketches and maybe a few practice animations shortly.
That’s the aim over the next week or so, although I do have to prepare a presentation for the Research Assignment we finished earlier this month.
It feels like it’s come to ‘make or break’ time with my project: It has taken so many turns, loops and side roads, and yet still, I feel I have nothing to show and nothing solid enough even in my mind.
So it’s back to the drawing board (or graphics tablet?).
I have been so incredibly busy lately, with other training I am doing, work placements, family issues, etc., that I just haven’t devoted any time to my project – and this is becoming glaringly apparent. This has to be addressed or it will compromise my continuing on this MA.
So, action plan: Today I will be spending the whole day looking at my project. I feel it needs turning around, tipping on its head, kicking into shape!
I have some thoughts around simple figure sketches, scanned, animated in Flash and edited with film via After Effects (if this is possible).
I have printed out my thoughts and ideas on this project going back to the start of the course, to see if I can collate and fuse some of these mutterings into something coherent that I can work with (Thank God for the Blog – Long Live The Blog!)
I will also work out a realistic timetable today, based around my now heavy schedule. It can be done. I can do it, I just need to be painfully organised and disciplined.
Wish me luck mon amies – I may need it! 
Slogging on with essay. ‘Reading ‘Mapping Benjamin’ at the moment as it has some relevant ideas in there, which should help provide some good quotes and support and shape my essay. Very tired. Juggling work, training/teaching, family and this essay- it’s a hellish month. I think I am going about this essay in a methodical manner (well, better than my usual bull rush!), but still not 100% happy with title – and still not sure I am not going too broad with this. Focussing on presence in Web2.0.
I have also missed out on the group chats for the last two weeks – and can only join in at the very end for the next two weeks due to work comitments- but that contract ends after that. ~I’m missing the interaction to be honest…
Ok, better go as my eyes are beginning to burn into my skull with exhaustion now!
’Finally picked up the Processing book – Foundation Processing: Creative Coding and Computational Art, Ira Greenberg, FRIENDS OF ED ACADEMIC (1 Jun 2007),
ISBN: 159059617X
Looks really interesting … Now to find the time to read it all – and it aint small!
So much to do – Summer’s over, essay deadline looming, project targets – not achieved – and the rush is officially on! But…. I have finally got my ‘new build’ PC – which is amazing! I can actually work on editing film now! Whoop whoop!
Have been trying to re-focus on my project – tighten up my ideas – may need to re-assess regarding the whole markerless facial tracking idea – not solely due to the huge learning curve necessary, but also need to look at how I will incorporate it as part of the project – will it look too gimmicky?
Anyway, essay due and much work needed – huge anxieties over how to fit it all in – it’s gonna be one busy old month! Onwards and UPwards…
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